I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
