What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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