take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
