just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
