Best friends brother. Beat that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize