I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Someone came in the potted fern
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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