They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
