apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
