it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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