Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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