dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize