So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Randomize
