You're so nebulous sometimes
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
