Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
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