dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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