If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
