It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
