I love black thongs
I want to stick my p in your. b.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
