I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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