just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
