is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize