I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I haven't been this sober since birth.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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