whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
So vagazzling was a success
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize