Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
