I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
