how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
