none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
