I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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