is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
