"it" just moved
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
