there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
