i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
