Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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