i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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