That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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