garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
