Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
