OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
