i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
