remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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