You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
