I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
