I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
