need another drink. this is the easiest way
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
