You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
