I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
