You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Everything about him screamed your future.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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