I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
