Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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