So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hello my rib-scented angel!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize