Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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