And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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