I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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