No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
