i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
