Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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