My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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