let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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