i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Randomize
