Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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