We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize