I need help removing her.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
