Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
