I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
